The Project Gutenberg Ebook Memoirs of Count Grammont, v3, by Hamilton
#3 in our series by Anthony Hamilton, Edited by Sir Walter Scott

Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.

This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
Gutenberg file.  Please do not remove it.  Do not change or edit the
header without written permission.
                    
Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file.  Included is
important information about your specific rights and restrictions in
how the file may be used.  You can also find out about how to make a
donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.


**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**

**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**

*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers*****


Title: The Memoirs of Count Grammont, Volume 3.

Author: Anthony Hamilton (Edited by Sir Walter Scott)

Release Date: April, 2004  [EBook #5411]
[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule]
[This file was first posted on July 12, 2002]

Edition: 10

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII





*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MEMOIRS OF GRAMMONT, V3, BY HAMILTON ***



This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net>



[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the
file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an
entire meal of them.  D.W.]





                  MEMOIRS OF COUNT GRAMMONT, VOLUME 3.

                          By Anthony Hamilton

                EDITED, WITH NOTES, BY SIR WALTER SCOTT




                              CHAPTER SIXTH.

                    HIS ARRIVAL AT THE ENGLISH COURT--
                    THE VARIOUS PERSONAGES OF THIS COURT


Curiosity to see a man equally famous for his crimes and his elevation,
had once before induced the Chevalier de Grammont to visit England.
Reasons of state assume great privileges.  Whatever appears advantageous
is lawful, and every thing that is necessary is honourable in politics.
While the King of England sought the protection of Spain in the Low
Countries, and that of the States-General in Holland, other powers sent
splendid embassies to Cromwell.

This man, whose ambition had opened him a way to sovereign power by the
greatest crimes, maintained himself in it by accomplishments which seemed
to render him worthy of it by their lustre.  The nation, of all Europe
the least submissive, patiently bore a yoke which did not even leave her
the shadow of that liberty of which she is so jealous; and Cromwell,
master of the Commonwealth, under the title of Protector, feared at home,
but yet more dreaded abroad, was at his highest pitch of glory when he
was seen by the Chevalier de Grammont; but the Chevalier did not see any
appearance of a court.  One part of the nobility proscribed, the other
removed from employments; an affectation of purity of manners, instead of
the luxury which the pomp of courts displays all taken together,
presented nothing but sad and serious objects in the finest city in the
world; and therefore the Chevalier acquired nothing by this voyage but
the idea of some merit in a profligate man, and the admiration of some
concealed beauties he had found means to discover.

Affairs wore quite a different appearance at his second voyage.  The joy
for the restoration of the royal family still appeared in all parts.  The
nation, fond of change and novelty, tasted the pleasure of a natural
government, and seemed to breathe again after a long oppression.  In
short, the same people who, by a solemn abjuration, had excluded even the
posterity of their lawful sovereign, exhausted themselves in festivals
and rejoicings for his return.

The Chevalier de Grammont arrived about two years after the restoration.
The reception he met with in this court soon made him forget the other;
and the engagements he in the end contracted in England lessened the
regret he had in leaving France.

This was a desirable retreat for an exile of his disposition.

Everything flattered his taste, and if the adventures he had in this
country were not the most considerable, they were at least the most
agreeable of his life.  But before we relate them it will not be improper
to give some account of the English court, as it was at that period.

The necessity of affairs had exposed Charles II. from his earliest youth
to the toils and perils of a bloody war.  The fate of the king his father
had left him for inheritance nothing but his misfortunes and disgraces.
They overtook him everywhere; but it was not until he had struggled with
his ill-fortune to the last extremity that he submitted to the decrees of
Providence.

All those who were either great on account of their birth or their
loyalty had followed him into exile; and all the young persons of the
greatest distinction having afterwards joined him, composed a court
worthy of a better fate.

Plenty and prosperity, which are thought to tend only to corrupt manners,
found nothing to spoil in an indigent and wandering court.  Necessity, on
the contrary, which produces a thousand advantages whether we will or no,
served them for education; and nothing was to be seen among them but an
emulation in glory, politeness, and virtue.

With this little court, in such high esteem for merit, the King of
England returned two years prior to the period we mention, to ascend a
throne which, to all appearances, he was to fill as worthily as the most
glorious of his predecessors.  The magnificence displayed on thus
occasion was renewed at his coronation.

The death of the Duke of Gloucester, and of the Princess Royal, which
followed soon after, had interrupted the course of this splendour by a
tedious mourning, which they quitted at last to prepare for the reception
of the Infanta of Portugal.

     [The Princess Royal: Mary, eldest daughter of Charles I., born
     November 4th, 1631, married to the Prince of Orange, 2nd May, 1641,
     who died 27th October, 1650.  She arrived in England, September
     23rd, and died of the smallpox, December 24th, 1660,-according to
     Bishop Burnet, not much lamented.  "She had lived," says the author,
     "in her widowhood for some years with great reputation, kept a
     decent court, and supported her brothers very liberally; and lived
     within bounds.  But her mother, who had the art of making herself
     believe anything she had a mind to, upon a conversation with the
     queen-mother of France, fancied the King of France might be inclined
     to marry her.  So she wrote to her to come to Paris.  In order to
     that, she made an equipage far above what she could support.  So she
     ran herself into debt, sold all her jewels, and some estates that
     were in her power as her son's guardian; and was not only
     disappointed of that vain expectation, but fell into some
     misfortunes that lessened the reputation she had formerly lived in."
     History of his Own Times, vol.  i., p. 238.  She was mother of
     William III.]

     ["The Infanta, of Portugal landed in May (1662) at Portsmouth.  The
     king went thither, and was married privately by Lord Aubigny, a
     secular priest, and almoner to the queen, according to the rites of
     Rome, in the queen's chamber; none present but the Portuguese
     ambassador, three more Portuguese of quality, and two or three
     Portuguese women.  What made this necessary was, that the Earl of
     Sandwich did not marry her by proxy, as usual, before she came away.
     How this happened, the duke knows not, nor did the chancellor know
     of this private marriage.  The queen would not be bedded, till
     pronounced man and wife by Sheldon, bishop of London."--Extract 2,
     from King James II.'s Journal.--Macpherson's State Papers, vol. i.
     In the same collection is a curious letter from the King to Lord
     Clarendon, giving his opinion of the queen after having seen her.]

It was in the height of the rejoicings they were making for this new
queen, in all the splendour of a brilliant court, that the Chevalier de
Grammont arrived to contribute to its magnificence and diversions.

Accustomed as he was to the grandeur of the court of France, he was
surprised at the politeness and splendour of the court of England.  The
king was inferior to none, either in shape or air; his wit was pleasant;
his disposition easy and affable; his soul, susceptible of opposite
impressions, was compassionate to the unhappy, inflexible to the wicked,
and tender even to excess; he showed great abilities in urgent affairs,
but was incapable of application to any that were not so: his heart was
often the dupe, but oftener the slave, of his engagements.

The character of the Duke of York was entirely different he had the
reputation of undaunted courage, an inviolable attachment for his word,
great economy in his affairs, hauteur, application, arrogance, each in
their turn: a scrupulous observer of the rules of duty and the laws of
justice; he was accounted a faithful friend, and an implacable enemy.

     [James, Duke of York, afterwards King James II.  He was born 15th
     October, 1633; succeeded his brother 6th February, 1684-5; abdicated
     the crown in 1688; and died 6th September, 1701.  Bishop Burnet's
     character of him appears not very far from the truth.--" He was,"
     says this writer, "very brave in his youth; and so much magnified by
     Monsieur Turenne, that till his marriage lessened him, he really
     clouded the king, and passed for the superior genius.  He was
     naturally candid and sincere, and a firm friend, till affairs and
     his religion wore out all his first principles and inclinations.  he
     had a great desire to understand affairs: and in order to that he
     kept a constant journal of all that passed, of which he showed me a
     great deal.  The Duke of Buckingham gave me once a short but severe
     character of the two brothers.  It was the more severe, because it
     was true: the king, (he said,) could see things if he would: and the
     duke would see things if he could.  He had no true judgment, and was
     soon determined by those whom he trusted: but he was obstinate
     against all other advices.  He was bred with high notions of kingly
     authority, and laid it down for a maxim, that all who opposed the
     king were rebels in their hearts.  He was perpetually in one amour
     or other, without being very nice in his choice: upon which the king
     once said, he believed his brother had his mistress given him by his
     priests for penance.  He was naturally eager and revengeful: and was
     against the taking off any, that set up in an opposition to the
     measures of the court, and who by that means grew popular in the
     house of commons.  He was for rougher methods.  He continued many
     years dissembling his religion, and seemed zealous for the church of
     England, but it was chiefly on design to hinder all propositions,
     that tended to unite us among ourselves.  He was a frugal prince,
     and brought his court into method and magnificence, for he had
     L100,000. a-year allowed him.  He was made high admiral, and he came
     to understand all the concerns of the sea very particularly."]

His morality and justice, struggling for some time with prejudice, had at
last triumphed, by his acknowledging for his wife Miss Hyde, maid of
honour to the Princess Royal, whom he had secretly married in Holland.
Her father, from that time prime minister of England, supported by this
new interest, soon rose to the head of affairs, and had almost ruined
them: not that he wanted capacity, but he was too self-sufficient.

The Duke of Ormond possessed the confidence and esteem of his master: the
greatness of his services, the splendour of his merit and his birth, and
the fortune he had abandoned in adhering to the fate of his prince,
rendered him worthy of it nor durst the courtiers even murmur at seeing
him grand steward of the household, first lord of the bed-chamber, and
lord-lieutenant of Ireland.  He exactly resembled the Marshal de
Grammont, in the turn of his wit and the nobleness of his manners: and
like him was the honour of his master's court.

The Duke of Buckingham and the Earl of St. Albans were the same in
England as they appeared in France: the one full of wit and vivacity,
dissipated, without splendour, an immense estate upon which he had just
entered: the other, a man of no great genius, had raised himself a
considerable fortune from nothing, and by losing at play, and keeping a
great table, made it appear greater than it was.

     ["The Duke of Buckingham is again one hundred and forty thousand
     pounds in debt; and by this prorogation his creditors have time to
     tear all his lands to pieces."--Andrew Marvell's Works, 4to.  edit.,
     vol. i. p. 406.]

Sir George Berkeley, afterwards Earl of Falmouth, was the confidant and
favourite of the King: he commanded the Duke of York's regiment of
guards, and governed the Duke himself.  He had nothing very remarkable
either in his wit, or his person; but his sentiments were worthy of the
fortune which awaited him, when, on the very point of his elevation, he
was killed at sea.  Never did disinterestedness so perfectly characterise
the greatness of the soul: he had no views but what tended to the glory
of his master: his credit was never employed but in advising him to
reward services, or to confer favours on merit: so polished in
conversation, that the greater his power, the greater was his humility;
and so sincere in all his proceedings, that he would never have been
taken for a courtier.

The Duke of Ormond's sons and his nephews had been in the king's court
during his exile, and were far from diminishing its lustre after his
return.  The Earl of Arran  had a singular address in all kinds of
exercises, played well at tennis and on the guitar, and was pretty
successful in gallantry: his elder brother, the Earl of Ossory, was not
so lively, but of the most liberal sentiments, and of great probity.

The elder of the Hamiltons, their cousin, was the man who of all the
court dressed best: he was well made in his person, and possessed those
happy talents which lead to fortune, and procure success in love: he was
a most assiduous courtier, had the most lively wit, the most polished
manners, and the most punctual attention to his master imaginable: no
person danced better, nor was any one a more general lover: a merit of
some account in a court entirely devoted to love and gallantry.  It is
not at all surprising, that with these qualities he succeeded my Lord
Falmouth in the King's favour; but it is very extraordinary that he
should have experienced the same destiny, as if this sort of war had been
declared against merit only, and as if this sort of combat was fatal to
none but such as had certain hopes of a splendid fortune.  This, however,
did not happen till some years afterwards.

The beau Sydney, less dangerous than he appeared to be,

     [Robert Sydney, third son of the Earl of Leicester, and brother of
     the famous Algernon Sydney, who was beheaded.  This is Lord Orford's
     account; though, on less authority, I should have been inclined to
     have considered Henry Sydney, his younger brother, who was
     afterwards created Earl of Rumney, and died 8th April, 1704, as the
     person intended.  There are some circumstances which seem
     particularly to point to him.  Burnet, speaking of him, says, "he
     was a, graceful man, and had lived long in the court, where he lead
     some adventures that became very public.  He was a man of a sweet
     and caressing temper, had no malice in his heart, but too great a
     love of pleasure.  He had been sent envoy to Holland in the year
     1679, where he entered into such particular confidences with the
     prince, that he had the highest measure of his trust and favour that
     any Englishman ever had."--History of his Own Times, vol.  ii., p.
     494.

     In the Essay on Satire, by Dryden and Mulgrave, he is spoken of in
     no very decent terms.

               "And little Sid, for simile renown'd,
               Pleasure has always sought, but never found
               Though all his thoughts on wine and women fall,
               His are so bad, sure he ne'er thinks at all.
               The flesh he lives upon is rank and strong;
               His meat and mistresses are kept too long.
               But sure we all mistake this pious man,
               Who mortifies his person all he can
               What we uncharitably take for sin,
               Are only rules of this odd capuchin;
               For never hermit, under grave pretence,
               Has lived more contrary to common sense."

     These verses, however, have been applied to Sir Charles Sedley,
     whose name was originally spelt Sidley.  Robert Sydney died at
     Pensburst, 1674.]

had not sufficient vivacity to support the impression which his figure
made; but little Jermyn was on all sides successful in his intrigues.
The old Earl of St.  Albans, his uncle, had for a long time adopted him,
though the youngest of all his nephews.  It is well known what a table
the good man kept at Paris, while the King his master was starving at
Brussels, and the Queen Dowager, his mistress, lived not over well in
France.

     [To what a miserable state the queen was reduced may be seen in the
     following extract from De Retz.-" Four or five days before the king
     removed from Paris, I went to visit the Queen of England, whom I
     found in her daughter's chamber, who hath been since Duchess of
     Orleans.  At my coming in she said, 'You see I am come to keep
     Henrietta company.  The poor child could not rise to-day for want of
     a fire.'  The truth is, that the cardinal for six months together
     had not ordered her any money towards her pension; that no
     tradespeople would trust her for anything; and that there was not at
     her lodgings in the Louvre one single billet.  You will do me the
     justice to suppose that the Princess of England did not keep her bed
     the next day for want of a faggot; but it was not this which the
     Princess of Conde meant in her letter.  What she spoke about was,
     that some days after my visiting the Queen of England, I remembered
     the condition I had found her in, and had strongly represented the
     shame of abandoning her in that manner, which caused the parliament
     to send 40,000 livres to her majesty.  Posterity will hardly believe
     that a Princess of England, grand-daughter of Henry the Great, hath
     wanted a faggot, in the month of January, to get out of bed in the
     Louvre, and in the eyes of a French court.  We read in histories,
     with horror, of baseness less monstrous than this; and the little
     concern I have met with about it in most people's minds, has obliged
     me to make, I believe, a thousand times, this reflection,--that
     examples of times past move men beyond comparison more than those of
     their own times.  We accustom ourselves to what we see; and I have
     sometimes told you, that I doubted whether Caligula's horse being
     made a consul would have surprised us so much as we imagine."--
     Memoirs, vol. i., p. 261.  As for the relative situation of the king
     and Lord Jermyn, (afterwards St. Albans,) Lord Clarendon says, that
     the "Marquis of Ormond was compelled to put himself in prison, with
     other gentlemen, at a pistole a-week for his diet, and to walk the
     streets a-foot, which was no honourable custom in Paris, whilst the
     Lord Jermyn kept an excellent table for those who courted him, and
     had a coach of his own, and all other accommodations incident to the
     most full fortune: and if the king had the most urgent occasion for
     the use but of twenty pistoles, as sometimes he had, he could not
     find credit to borrow it, which he often had experiment of."--
     History of the Rebellion, vol.  iii., p. 2.]

Jermyn, supported by his uncle's wealth, found it no difficult matter to
make a considerable figure upon his arrival at the court of the Princess
of Orange: the poor courtiers of the king her brother could not vie with
him in point of equipage and magnificence; and these two articles often
produce as much success in love as real merit: there is no necessity for
any other example than the present; for though Jermyn was brave, and
certainly a gentleman, yet he had neither brilliant actions, nor
distinguished rank, to set him off; and as for his fibre, there was
nothing advantageous in it.  He was little: his head was large and his
legs small; his features were not disagreeable, but he was affected in
his carriage and behaviour.  All his wit consisted in expressions learnt
by rote, which he occasionally employed either in raillery, or in love.
This was the whole foundation of the merit of a man so formidable in
amours.

The Princess Royal was the first who was taken with him: Miss Hyde seemed
to be following the steps of her mistress: this immediately brought him
into credit, and his reputation was established in England before his
arrival.  Prepossession in the minds of women is sufficient to find
access to their hearts: Jermyn found them in dispositions so favourable
for him, that he had nothing to do but to speak.

It was in vain they perceived that a reputation so lightly established,
was still more weakly sustained: the prejudice remained: the Countess of
Castlemaine, a woman lively and discerning followed the delusive shadow;
and though undeceived in a reputation which promised so much, and
performed so little, she nevertheless continued in her infatuation: she
even persisted in it, until she was upon the point of embroiling herself
with the King; so great was this first instance of her constancy.

Such were the heroes of the court.  As for the beauties, you could not
look anywhere without seeing them: those of the greatest reputation were
this same Countess of Castlemaine, afterwards Duchess of Cleveland, Lady
Chesterfield, Lady Shrewsbury, the Mrs. Roberts, Mrs. Middleton, the
Misses Brooks, and a thousand others, who shone at court with equal
lustre; but it was Miss Hamilton and Miss Stewart who were its chief
ornaments.

     [Lady Shrewsbury: Anna, Maria, Countess of Shrewsbury, eldest
     daughter of Robert Brudenel, Earl of Cardigan, and wife of Francis,
     Earl of Shrewsbury, who was killed in a duel by George, Duke of
     Buckingham, March 16, 1667.  She afterwards re-married with George
     Rodney Bridges, Esq., second son of Sir Thomas Bridges of Keynsham,
     in Somersetshire, knight, and died April 20, 1702.  By her second
     husband she had one son, George Rodney Bridges, who died in 1751.
     This woman is said to have been so abandoned, as to have held, in
     the habit of a page, her gallant, the duke's horse, while he fought
     and killed her husband; after which she went to bed with him,
     stained with her husband's blood.]

The new queen gave but little additional brilliancy to the court, either
in her person or in her retinue, which was then composed of the Countess
de Panetra, who came over with her in quality of lady of the bedchamber;
six frights, who called themselves maids of honour, and a duenna, another
monster, who took the title of governess to those extraordinary beauties.

     [Lord Clarendon confirms, in some measure, this account.  "There
     was a numerous family of men and women, that were sent from
     Portugal, the most improper to promote that conformity in the queen
     that was necessary for her condition and future happiness that could
     be chosen; the women, for the most part, old, and ugly, and proud,
     incapable of any conversation with persons of quality and a liberal
     education: and they desired, and indeed had conspired so far to
     possess the queen themselves, that she should neither learn the
     English language, nor use their habit, nor depart from the manners
     and fashions of her own country in any particulars: which
     resolution," they told, "would be for the dignity of Portugal, and
     would quickly induce the English ladies to conform to her majesty's
     practice.  And this imagination had made that impression, that the
     tailor who had been sent into Portugal to make her clothes could
     never be admitted to see her, or receive any employment.  Nor when
     she came to Portsmouth, and found there several ladies of honour and
     prime quality to attend her in the places to which they were
     assigned by the king, did she receive any of them till the king
     himself came; nor then with any grace, or the liberty that belonged
     to their places and offices.  She could not be persuaded to be
     dressed out of the wardrobe that the king had sent to her, but would
     wear the clothes which she had brought, until she found that the
     king was displeased, and would be obeyed; whereupon she conformed,
     against the advice of her women, who continued their opiniatrety,
     without any one of them receding from their own mode, which exposed
     them the more to reproach."--Continuation of Clarendon's Life, p.
     168.  In a short time after their arrival in England, they were
     ordered back to Portugal.]

Among the men were Francisco de Melo, brother to the Countess de Panetra;
one Taurauvedez, who called himself Don Pedro Francisco Correo de Silva,
extremely handsome, but a greater fool than all the Portuguese put
together: he was more vain of his names than of his person; but the Duke
of Buckingham, a still greater fool than he, though more addicted to
raillery, gave him the additional name of Peter of the Wood.  He was so
enraged at this, that, after many fruitless complaints and ineffectual
menaces, poor Pedro de Silva was obliged to leave England, while the
happy duke kept possession of a Portuguese nymph more hideous than the
queen's maids of honour, whom he had taken from him, as well as two of
his names.  Besides these, there were six chaplains, four bakers, a Jew
perfumer, and a certain officer, probably without an office, who called
himself her highness's barber.  Katharine de Braganza was far from
appearing with splendour in the charming court where she came to reign;
however, in the end she was pretty successful.

     [Lord Clarendon says, "the queen had beauty and wit enough to make
     herself agreeable to him (the king); and it is very certain, that,
     at their first meeting, and for some time after, the King had very
     good satisfaction in her.  .  .  .  Though she was of years enough
     to have had more experience of the world, and of as much wit as
     could be wished, and of a humour very agreeable at some seasons,
     yet, she had been bred, according to the mode and discipline of her
     country, in a monastery, where she had only seen the women who
     attended her, and conversed with the religious who resided there;
     and, without doubt, in her inclinations, was enough disposed to have
     been one of that number: and from this restraint she was called out
     to be a great queen, and to a free conversation in a court that was
     to be upon the matter new formed, and reduced from the manners of a
     licentious age to the old rules and limits which had been observed
     in better times; to which regular and decent conformity the present
     disposition of men or women was not enough inclined to submit, nor
     the king enough disposed to exact."--Continuation of Lord
     Clarendon's Life, p. 167.  After some struggle, she submitted to the
     king's licentious conduct, and from that time lived upon easy terms
     with him, until his death.  On the 30th March, 1692, she left
     Somerset-house, her usual residence, and retired to Lisbon, where
     she died, 31st December, 1705, N. S.]

The Chevalier de Grammont, who had been long known to the royal family,
and to most of the gentlemen of the court, had only to get acquainted
with the ladies; and for this he wanted no interpreter: they all spoke
French enough to explain themselves, and they all understood it
sufficiently to comprehend what he had to say to them.

The queen's court was always very numerous; that of the duchess was less
so, but more select.  This princess had a majestic air, a pretty good
shape, not much beauty, a great deal of wit, and so just a discernment of
merit, that, whoever of either sex were possessed of it, were sure to be
distinguished by her: an air of grandeur in all her actions made her be
considered as if born to support the rank: which placed her so near the
throne.

     ["The Duchess of York," says Bishop Burnet, "was a very
     extraordinary woman.  She had great knowledge, and a lively sense of
     things.  She soon understood what belonged to a princess, and took
     state on her rather too much.  She wrote well, and had begun the
     duke's life, of which she showed me a volume.  It was all drawn from
     his journal; and he intended to have employed me in carrying it on.
     She was bred in great strictness in religion, and practised secret
     confession.  Morley told me he was her confessor.  She began at
     twelve years old, and continued under his direction till, upon her
     father's disgrace, he was put from the court.  She was generous and
     friendly, but was too severe an enemy."-history of his Own Times,
     vol.  i., p.  237.  She was contracted to the duke at Breda,
     November 24, 1659, and married at Worcester-house, 3rd September,
     1660, in the night, between eleven and two, by Dr. Joseph Crowther,
     the duke's chaplain; the Lord Ossory giving her in marriage.--
     Kennet's Register, p. 246.  She died 31st March, 1671, having
     previously acknowledged herself to be a Roman Catholic.--See also
     her character by Bishop Morley.--Kennet's Register, p. 385, 390.]

The queen dowager returned after the marriage of the princess royal, and
it was in her court that the two others met.

The Chevalier de Grammont was soon liked by all parties those who had not
known him before were surprised to see a Frenchman of his disposition.
The king's restoration having drawn a great number of foreigners from all
countries to the court, the French were rather in disgrace; for, instead
of any persons of distinction having appeared among the first who came
over, they had only seen some insignificant puppies, each striving to
outdo the other in folly and extravagance, despising everything which
was not like themselves, and thinking they introduced the 'bel air', by
treating the English as strangers in their own country.

The Chevalier de Grammont, on the contrary, was familiar with everybody:
he gave in to their customs, eat of everything, and easily habituated
himself to their manner of living, which he looked upon as neither vulgar
nor barbarous; and as he showed a natural complaisance, instead of the
impertinent affectation of the others, all the nation was charmed with a
man, who agreeably indemnified them for what they had suffered from the
folly of the former.

He first of all made his court to the king, and was of all his parties
of pleasure: he played high, and lost but seldom: he found so little
difference in the manners and conversation of those with whom he chiefly
associated, that he could scarcely believe he was out of his own country.
Everything which could agreeably engage a man of his disposition,
presented itself to his different humours, as if the pleasures of the
court of France had quitted it to accompany him in his exile.

He was every day engaged for some entertainment; and those who wished to
regale him in their turn, were obliged to take their measures in time,
and to invite him eight or ten days before hand.  These importunate
civilities became tiresome in the long run; but as they seemed
indispensable to a man of his disposition, and as they were the most
genteel people of the court who loaded him with them, he submitted with
a good grace; but always reserved to himself the liberty of supping at
home.

His supper hour depended upon play, and was indeed very uncertain;
but his supper was always served up with the greatest elegance, by the
assistance of one or two servants, who were excellent caterers and good
attendants, but understood cheating still better.

The company, at these little entertainments, was not numerous, but
select: the first people of the court were commonly of the party; but the
man, who of all others suited him best on these occasions, never failed
to attend: that was the celebrated Saint Evremond, who with great
exactness, but too great freedom, had written the history of the treaty
of the Pyrenees: an exile like himself, though for very different
reasons.

Happily for them both, fortune had, some time before the arrival of the
Chevalier de Grammont, brought Saint Evremond to England, after he had
had leisure to repent in Holland of the beauties of that famous satire.

     [Charles de St. Denis, Seigneur de Saint Evremond, was born at St.
     Denis le Guast, in Lower Normandy, on the 1st of April, 1613.  He
     was educated at Paris, with a view to the profession of the law; but
     he early quitted that pursuit, and went into the army, where he
     signalized himself on several occasions.  At the time of the
     Pyrenean treaty, he wrote a letter censuring the conduct of Cardinal
     Mazarin, which occasioned his being banished France.  He first took
     refuge in Holland; but, in 1662, he removed into England, where he
     continued, with a short interval, during the rest of his life.  In
     1675, the Duchess of Mazarin came to reside in England; and with her
     St. Evremond passed much of his time.  He preserved his health and
     cheerfulness to a very great age, and died 9th of September, 1703,
     aged ninety years, five months, and twenty days.  His biographer
     Monsieur Des Maizeaux, describes him thus: "M. de St. Evremond had
     blue, lively, and sparkling eyes, a large forehead, thick eyebrows,
     a handsome mouth, and a sneering physiognomy.  Twenty years before
     his death, a wen grew between his eye-brows, which in time increased
     to a considerable bigness.  He once designed to have it cut off, but
     as it was no ways troublesome to him, and he little regarded that
     kind of deformity, Dr. Le Fevre advised him to let it alone, lest
     such an operation should be attended with dangerous symptoms in a
     man of his age.  He would often make merry with himself on account
     of his wen, his great leather cap, and grey hair, which he chose to
     wear rather than a periwig."   St. Evremond was a kind of Epicurean
     philosopher, and drew his own character in the following terms, in a
     letter to Count de Grammont.  He was a philosopher equally removed
     from superstition and impiety; a voluptuary who had no less aversion
     from debauchery than inclination for pleasure: a man who had never
     felt the pressure of indigence, and who had never been in possession
     of affluence: he lived in a condition despised by those who have
     everything, envied by those who have nothing, and relished by those
     who make their reason the foundation of their happiness.  When he
     was young he hated profusion, being persuaded that some degree of
     wealth was necessary for the conveniencies of a long life: when he
     was old, he could hardly endure economy, being of opinion that want
     is little to be dreaded when a man has but little time left to be
     miserable.  He was well pleased with nature, and did not complain of
     fortune.  He hated vice, was indulgent to frailties, and lamented
     misfortunes.  He sought not after the failings of men with a design
     to expose them; be only found what was ridiculous in them for his
     own amusement: he had a secret pleasure in discovering this himself,
     and would, indeed, have had a still greater in discovering this to
     others, had not he been checked by discretion.  Life, in his
     opinion, was too short to read all sorts of books, and to burden
     one's memory with a multitude of things, at the expense of one's
     judgment.  He did not apply himself to the most learned writings, in
     order to acquire knowledge, but to the most rational, to fortify his
     reason: he sometimes chose the most delicate, to give delicacy to
     his own taste, and sometimes the most agreeable, to give the same to
     his own genius.  It remains that he should be described, such as he
     was, in friendship and in religion.  In friendship he was more
     constant than a philosopher, and more sincere than a young man of
     good nature without experience.  With regard to religion, his piety
     consisted more in justice and charity than in penance or
     mortification.  He placed his confidence in God, trusting in His
     goodness, and hoping that in the bosom of His providence he should
     find his repose and his felicity."--He was buried in Westminster
     Abbey.]

The Chevalier was from that time his hero: they had each of them attained
to all the advantages which a knowledge of the world, and the society of
people of fashion, could add to the improvement of good natural talents.
Saint Evremond, less engaged in frivolous pursuits, frequently gave
little lectures to the Chevalier, and by making observations upon the
past, endeavoured to set him right for the present, or to instruct him
for the future.  "You are now," said he, "in the most agreeable way of
life a man of your temper could wish for: you are the delight of a
youthful, sprightly, and gallant court: the king has never a party of
pleasure to which you are not admitted.  You play from morning to night,
or, to speak more properly, from night to morning, without knowing
what it is to lose.  Far from losing the money you brought hither, as you
have done in other places, you have doubled it, trebled it, multiplied it
almost beyond your wishes, notwithstanding the exorbitant expenses you
are imperceptibly led into.  This, without doubt, is the most desirable
situation in the, world: stop here, Chevalier, and do not ruin your
affairs by returning to your old sins.  Avoid love, by pursuing other
pleasures: love has never been favourable to you.

     ["Saint Evremond and Bussi-Rabutin, who have also written on the
     life of the Count de Grammont, agree with Hamilton in representing
     him as a man less fortunate in love than at play; not seeking for
     any other pleasure in the conquest of a woman but that of depriving
     another of her; and not able to persuade any one of his passion,
     because he spoke to her, as at all other times, in jest: but cruelly
     revenging himself on those who refused to hear him; corrupting the
     servants of those whom they did favour, counterfeiting their
     handwriting, intercepting their letters, disconcerting their
     rendezvous; in one word, disturbing their amours by everything which
     a rival, prodigal, indefatigable, and full of artifice, can be
     imagined to do.  The straitest ties of blood could not secure any
     one from his detraction.  His nephew, the Count de Guiche, was a
     victim: he had in truth, offended the Count de Grammont, by having
     supplanted him in the affection of the Countess de Fiesque, whom he
     loved afterwards for the space of twelve years.  Here was enough to
     irritate the self-love of a man less persuaded of his own merit."
     Hamilton does not describe the exterior of the count, but accuses
     Bussi-Rabutin of having, in the following description, given a more
     agreeable than faithful portrait of him: "The chevalier had laughing
     eyes, a well-formed nose, a beautiful mouth, a small dimple in the
     chin, which had an agreeable effect on his countenance, a certain
     delicacy in his physiognomy, and a handsome shape, if he had not
     stooped."]

"You are sensible how much gallantry has cost you; and every person here
is not so well acquainted with that matter as yourself.  Play boldly:
entertain the court with your wit: divert the king by your ingenious and
entertaining stories; but avoid all engagements which can deprive you of
this merit, and make you forget you are a stranger and an exile in this
delightful country.

"Fortune may bow weary of befriending you at play.  What would have
become of you, if your last misfortune had happened to you when your
money had been at as low an ebb as I have known it?  Attend carefully
then to this necessary deity, and renounce the other.  You will be missed
at the court of France before you brow weary of this; but be that as it
may, lay up a good store of money: when a man is rich he consoles himself
for his banishment.  I know you well, my dear Chevalier: if you take it
into your head to seduce a lady, or to supplant a lover, your gains at
play will by no means suffice for presents and for bribes: no, let play
be as productive to you as it can be, you will never gain so much by it
as you will lose by love, if you yield to it.

"You are in possession of a thousand splendid qualifications which
distinguish you here: generous, benevolent, elegant, and polite; and for
your engaging wit, inimitable.  Upon a strict examination, perhaps, all
this would not be found literally true; but these are brilliant marks;
and since it is granted that you possess them, do not show yourself here
in any other light: for, in love, if your manner of paying your addresses
can be so denominated, you do not in the least resemble the picture I
have just now drawn."

"My little philosophical monitor," said the Chevalier de Grammont, "you
talk here as if you were the Cato of Normandy."  "Do I say anything
untrue?"  replied Saint Evremond: "Is it not a fact, that as soon as a
woman pleases you, your first care is to find out whether she has any
other lover, and your second how to plague her; for the gaining her
affection is the last thing in your thoughts.  You seldom engage in
intrigues, but to disturb the happiness of others: a mistress who has no
lovers would have no charms for you, and if she has, she would be
invaluable.  Do not all the places through which you have passed furnish
me with a thousand examples?  Shall I mention your coup d'essai at Turin?
the trick you played at Fontainebleau, where you robbed the Princess
Palatine's courier upon the highway? and for what purpose was this fine
exploit, but to put you in possession of some proofs of her affection for
another, in order to give her uneasiness and confusion by reproaches and
menaces, which you had no right to use?

"Who but yourself ever took it into his head to place himself in ambush
upon the stairs, to disturb a man in an intrigue, and to pull him back by
the leg when he was half way up to his mistress's chamber?  yet did not
you use your friend the Duke of Buckingham in this manner, when he was
stealing at night to ------ although you were not in the least his rival?
How many spies did not you send out after d'Olonne?

     [Mademoiselle de la Loupe, who is mentioned in De Retz's Memoirs,
     vol.  iii., p. 95.  She married the Count d'Olonne, and became
     famous for her gallantries, of which the Count de Bussi speaks so
     much, in his History of the Amours of the Gauls.  Her maiden name
     was Catherine Henrietta d'Angennes, and she was daughter to Charles
     d'Angennes, Lord of la Loupe, Baron of Amberville, by Mary du
     Raynier.  There is a long character of her by St. Evremond, in his
     works, vol. i., p. 17.  The same writer, mentioning the concern of
     some ladies for the death of the Duke of Candale, says, "But his
     true mistress (the Countess d'Olonne) made herself famous by the
     excess of her affliction, and had, in my opinion, been happy, if she
     had kept it on to the last.  One amour is creditable to a lady; and
     I know not whether it be not more advantageous to their reputation
     than never to have been in love."--St. Evremond's works, vol.  ii.,
     p. 24.]

"How many tricks, frauds, and persecutions, did you not practise for the
Countess de Fiesque, who perhaps might have been constant to you, if you
had not yourself forced her to be otherwise?  But, to conclude, for the
enumeration of your iniquities would be endless, give me leave to ask
you, how you came here?  Are not we obliged to that same evil genius of
yours, which rashly inspired you to intermeddle even in the gallantries
of your prince?  Show some discretion then on this point here, I beseech
you; all the beauties of the court are already engaged; and however
docile the English may be with respect to their wives, they can by no
means bear the inconstancy of their mistresses, nor patiently suffer the
advantages of a rival: suffer them therefore to remain in tranquillity,
and do not gain their ill-will for no purpose.

"You certainly will meet with no success with such as are unmarried:
honourable views, and good landed property, are required here; and you
possess as much of the one as the other.  Every country has its customs:
in Holland, unmarried ladies are of easy access, and of tender
dispositions; but as soon as ever they are married, they become like so
many Lucretias: in France, the women are great coquettes before marriage,
and still more so afterwards; but here it is a miracle if a young lady
yields to any proposal but that of matrimony and I do not believe you yet
so destitute of grace as to think of that."

Such were Saint Evremond's lectures; but they were all to no purpose: the
Chevalier de Grammont only attended to them for his amusement; and though
he was sensible of the truth they contained, he paid little regard to
them: in fact, being weary of the favours of fortune, he had just
resolved to pursue those of love.

Mrs. Middleton was the first whom he attacked: she was one of the
Handsomest women in town, though then little known at court: so much of
the coquette as to discourage no one; and so great was her desire of
appearing magnificently, that she was ambitious to vie with those of the
greatest fortunes, though unable to support the expense.  All this suited
the Chevalier de Grammont; therefore, without trifling away his time in
useless ceremonies, he applied to her porter for admittance, and chose
one of her lovers for his confidant.

This lover, who was not deficient in wit, was at that time a Mr. Jones,
afterwards Earl of Ranelagh: what engaged him to serve the Chevalier de
Grammont, was to traverse the designs of a most dangerous rival, and to
relieve himself from an expense which began to lie too heavy upon him.
In both respects the Chevalier answered his purpose.

Immediately spies were placed, letters and presents flew about: he was
received as well as he could wish: he was permitted to ogle: he was even
ogled again; but this was all.  He found that the fair one was very
willing to accept, but was tardy in making returns.  This induced him,
without giving up his pretensions to her, to seek his fortune elsewhere.

Among the queen's maids of honour, there was one called Warmestre: she
was a beauty very different from the other.  Mrs. Middleton was well
made, fair, and delicate; but had in her behaviour and discourse
something precise and affected.  The indolent languishing airs she gave
herself did not please everybody: people grew weary of those sentiments
of delicacy, which she endeavoured to explain without understanding them
herself; and instead of entertaining she became tiresome.  In these
attempts she gave herself so much trouble, that she made the company
uneasy, and her ambition to pass for a wit, only established her the
reputation of being tiresome, which lasted much longer than her beauty.

Miss Warmestre was brown: she had no shape at all, and still less air;
but she had a very lively complexion, very sparkling eyes, tempting
looks, which spared nothing that might ensnare a lover, and promised
everything which could preserve him.  In the end, it very plainly
appeared that her consent went along with her eyes to the last degree of
indiscretion.

It was between these two goddesses that the inclinations of the Chevalier
de Grammont stood wavering, and between whom his presents were divided.
Perfumed gloves, pocket looking-glasses, elegant boxes, apricot paste,
essences, and other small wares of love, arrived every week from Paris,
with some new suit for himself; but, with regard to more solid presents,
such as ear-rings, diamonds, brilliants, and bright guineas, all this was
to be met with of the best sort in London, and the ladies were as well
pleased with them as if they had been brought from abroad.

Miss Stewart's beauty began at this time to be celebrated.

     [Frances, Duchess of Richmond, daughter of Walter Stewart, son of
     Walter, Baron of Blantyre, and wife of Charles Stewart, Duke of
     Richmond and Lennox: a lady of exquisite beauty, if justly
     represented in a puncheon made by Roettiere, his majesty's engraver
     of the mint, in order to strike a medal of her, which exhibits the
     finest face that perhaps was ever seen.  The king was supposed to be
     desperately in love with her; and it became common discourse, that
     there was a design on foot to get him divorced from the queen, in
     order to marry this lady.  Lord Clarendon was thought to have
     promoted the match with the Duke of Richmond, thereby to prevent the
     other design, which he imagined would hurt the king's character,
     embroil his affairs at present, and entail all the evils of a
     disputed succession on the nation.  Whether he actually encouraged
     the Duke of Richmond's marriage, doth not appear; but it is certain
     that he was so strongly possessed of the king's inclination to a
     divorce, that, even after his disgrace, he was persuaded the Duke of
     Buckingham had under taken to carry that matter through the
     parliament.  It is certain too that the king considered him as the
     chief promoter of Miss Stewart's marriage, and resented it in the
     highest degree.  (See Pepys' Diaries. DW) The ceremony took place
     privately, and it was publicly declared in April, 1667.  From one of
     Sir Robert Southwell's dispatches, dated Lisbon, December ?/12,
     1667, it appears that the report of the queen's intended divorce had
     not then subsided in her native country.--History of the Revolutions
     of Portugal, 1740, p. 352.  The duchess became a widow in 1672, and
     died October 15, 1702.  See Burnet's History, Ludlow's Memoirs, and
     Carte's Life of the Duke of Ormond.  A figure in wax of this duchess
     is still to be seen in Westminster-abbey.]

The Countess of Castlemaine perceived that the king paid attention to
her; but, instead of being alarmed at it, she favoured, as far as she was
able, this new inclination, whether from an indiscretion common to all
those who think themselves superior to the rest of mankind, or whether
she designed, by this pastime, to divert the king's attention from the
commerce which she held with Jermyn.  She was not satisfied with
appearing without any degree of uneasiness at a preference which all
the court began to remark: she even affected to make Miss Stewart her
favourite, and invited her to all the entertainments she made for the
king; and, in confidence of her own charms, with the greatest
indiscretion, she often kept her to sleep.  The king, who seldom
neglected to visit the countess before she rose, seldom failed likewise
to find Miss Stewart in bed with her.  The most indifferent objects have
charms in a new attachment: however, the imprudent countess was not
jealous of this rival's appearing with her, in such a situation, being
confident, that whenever she thought fit, she could triumph over all the
advantages which these opportunities could afford Miss Stewart; but she
was quite mistaken.

The Chevalier de Grammont took notice of this conduct, without being able
to comprehend it; but, as he was attentive to the inclinations of the
king, he began to make his court to him, by enhancing the merit of this
new mistress.  Her figure was more showy than engaging: it was hardly
possible for a woman to have less wit, or more beauty: all her features
were fine and regular; but her shape was not good: yet she was slender,
straight enough, and taller than the generality of women: she was very
graceful, danced well, and spoke French better than her mother tongue:
she was well bred, and possessed, in perfection, that air of dress which
is so much admired, and which cannot be attained, unless it be taken when
young, in France.  While her charms were gaining ground in the king's
heart, the Countess of Castlemaine amused herself in the gratification of
all her caprices.

Mrs. Hyde was one of the first of the beauties who were prejudiced with
a blind prepossession in favour of Jermyn she had just married a man whom
she loved: by this marriage she became sister-in-law to the duchess,
brilliant by her own native lustre, and full of pleasantry and wit.
However, she was of opinion, that so long as she was not talked of on
account of Jermyn, all her other advantages would avail nothing for her
glory: it was, therefore, to receive this finishing stroke, that she
resolved to throw herself into his arms.

She was of a middle size, had a skin of a dazzling whiteness, fine hands,
and a foot surprisingly beautiful, even in England: long custom had given
such a languishing tenderness to her looks, that she never opened her
eyes but like a Chinese; and, when she ogled, one would have thought she
was doing something else.

Jermyn accepted of her at first; but, being soon puzzled what to do with
her, he thought it best to sacrifice her to Lady Castlemaine.  The
sacrifice was far from being displeasing to her; it was much to her glory
to have carried off Jermyn from so many competitors; but this was of no
consequence in the end.

Jacob Hall (the famous rope-dancer) was at that time in vogue in London;
his strength and agility charmed in public, even to a wish to know what
he was in private; for he appeared, in his tumbling dress, to be quite of
a different make, and to have limbs very different from the fortunate
Jermyn.

     ["There was a symmetry and elegance, as well as strength and
     agility, in the person of Jacob Hall, which was much admired by the
     ladies, who regarded him as a due composition of Hercules and
     Adonis.  The open-hearted Duchess of Cleveland was said to have been
     in love with this rope-dancer and Goodman the player at the same
     time.  The former received a salary from her grace."--Granger, vol.
     ii., part 2, p. 461.  In reference to the connection between the
     duchess and the ropedancer, Mr. Pope introduced the following lines
     into his "Sober Advice from Horace:"

               "What push'd poor E--s on th' imperial whore?
               'Twas but to be where Charles had been before,
               The fatal steel unjustly was apply'd,
               When not his lust offended, but his pride
               Too hard a penance for defeated sin,
               Himself shut out, and Jacob Hall let in."]

The tumbler did not deceive Lady Castlemaine's expectations, if report
may be believed; and as was intimated in many a song, much more to the
honour of the rope-dancer than of the countess; but she despised all
these rumours, and only appeared still more handsome.

While satire thus found employment at her cost, there were continual
contests for the favours of another beauty, who was not much more
niggardly in that way than herself; this was the Countess of Shrewsbury.

The Earl of Arran, who had been one of her first admirers, was not one of
the last to desert her; this beauty, less famous for her conquests than
for the misfortunes she occasioned, placed her greatest merits in being
more capricious than any other.  As no person could boast of being the
only one in her favour; so no person could complain of having been ill
received.

Jermyn was displeased that she had made no advances to him, without
considering that she had no leisure for it; his pride was offended; but
the attempt which he made to take her from the rest of her lovers was
very ill-advised.

Thomas Howard, brother to the Earl of Carlisle, was one of them; there
was not a braver, nor a more genteel man in England; and though he was
of a modest demeanour, and his manners appeared gentle and pacific, no
person was more spirited nor more passionate.  Lady Shrewsbury,
inconsiderately returning the first ogles of the invincible Jermyn, did
not at all make herself more agreeable to Howard; that, however, she paid
little attention to; yet, as she designed to keep fair with him, she
consented to accept an entertainment which he had often proposed, and
which she durst no longer refuse.  A place of amusement, called Spring
Garden,--was fixed upon for the scene of this entertainment.

As soon as the party was settled, Jermyn was privately informed of it.
Howard had a company in the regiment of guards, and one of the soldiers
of his company played pretty well on the bagpipes; this soldier was
therefore at the entertainment.  Jermyn was at the garden, as by chance;
and, puffed up with his former successes, he trusted to his victorious
air for accomplishing this last enterprise; he no sooner appeared on the
walks, than her ladyship showed herself upon the balcony.

I know not how she stood affected to her hero; but Howard did not fancy
him much; this did not prevent his coming up stairs upon the first sign
she made to him; and not content with acting the petty tyrant, at an
entertainment not made for himself, no sooner had he gained the soft
looks of the fair one, than he exhausted all his common-place, and all
his stock of low irony, in railing at the entertainment, and ridiculing
the music.

     [Spring Garden: They stay there so long as if they wanted not time
     to finish the race; for it is usual here to find some of the young
     company till midnight; and the thickets of the garden seem to be
     contrived to all advantages of gallantry, after they have refreshed
     with the collation, which is here seldom omitted, at a certain
     cabaret, in the middle of this paradise, where the forbidden fruits
     are certain trifling tarts, newts' tongues, spacious meats, and bad
     Rhenish, for which the gallants pay sauce, as indeed they do at all
     such houses throughout England; for they think it a piece of
     frugality beneath them to bargain or account for what they eat in
     any place, however unreasonably imposed upon.''-Character of
     England, 12mo., 1659, p.  56, written, it is said, by John Evelyn,
     Esq.  Spring Garden is the scene of intrigue in many of our comedies
     of this period.]

Howard possessed but little raillery, and still less patience; three
times was the banquet on the point of being stained with blood; but three
times did he suppress his natural impetuosity, in order to satisfy his
resentment elsewhere with greater freedom.

Jermyn, without paying the least attention to his ill-humour, pursued his
point, continued talking to Lady Shrewsbury, and did not leave her until
the repast was ended.

He went to bed, proud of this triumph, and was awakened next morning by a
challenge.  He took for his second Giles Rawlings, a man of intrigue, and
a deep player.  Howard took Dillon, who was dexterous and brave, much of
a gentleman, and, unfortunately, an intimate friend to Rawlings.

In this duel fortune did not side with the votaries of love poor Rawlings
was left stone dead; and Jermyn, having received three wounds, was
carried to his uncle's, with very little signs of life.

While the report of this event engaged the courtiers according to their
several interests, the Chevalier de Grammont was informed by Jones, his
friend, his confidant, and his rival, that there was another gentleman
very attentive to Mrs. Middleton: this was Montagu, no very dangerous
rival on account of his person, but very much to be feared for his
assiduity, the acuteness of his wit, and for some other talents which are
of importance, when a man is once permitted to display them.

There needed not half so much to bring into action all the Chevalier's
vivacity, in point of competition: vexation awakened in him whatever
expedients the desire of revenge, malice, and experience, could suggest,
for troubling the designs of a rival, and tormenting a mistress.  His
first intention was to return her letters, and demand his presents,
before he began to tease her; but, rejecting this project, as too weak a
revenge for the injustice done him, he was upon the point of conspiring
the destruction of poor Mrs. Middleton, when, by accident, he met with
Miss Hamilton.  From this moment ended all his resentment against Mrs.
Middleton, and all his attachment to Miss Warmestre: no longer was he
inconstant: no longer were his wishes fluctuating: this object fixed them
all; and, of all his former habits, none remained, except uneasiness and
jealousy.

Here his first care was to please; but he very plainly saw, that to
succeed he must act quite in a different manner to that which he had been
accustomed to.

The family of the Hamiltons, being very numerous, lived in a large and
commodious house, near the court: the Duke of Ormond's family was
continually with them; and here persons of the greatest distinction in
London, constantly met: the Chevalier de Grammont was here received in a
manner agreeable to his merit and quality, and was astonished that he had
spent so much time in other places; for, after having made this
acquaintance, he was desirous of no other.

All the world agreed that Miss Hamilton was worthy of the most ardent and
sincere affection: nobody could boast a nobler birth, nothing was more
charming than her person.

     [Elizabeth, sister of the author of these Memoirs, and daughter of
     Sir George Hamilton, fourth son of James, the first Earl of
     Abercorn, by Mary, third daughter of Thomas, Viscount Thurles,
     eldest son of Walter, eleventh Earl of Ormond, and sister to James,
     the first Duke of Ormond.  She married Philibert, Count of Grammont,
     the hero of these Memoirs, by whom she had two daughters: Claude
     Charlotte, married, 3rd April, 1694, to Henry, Earl of Stafford; and
     another, who became superior, or abbess, of the Canonesses in
     Lorraine.]




                             CHAPTER SEVENTH.

          HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH MISS HAMILTON--VARIOUS ADVENTURES
          AT THE BALL IN THE QUEEN'S DRAWING-ROOM--CURIOUS VOYAGE
          OF HIS VALET-DE-CHAMBRE TO AND FROM PARIS.


The Chevalier de Grammont, never satisfied in his amours, was fortunate
without being beloved, and became jealous without having an attachment.

Mrs. Middleton, as we have said, was going to experience what methods he
could invent to torment, after having experienced his powers of pleasing.

He went in search of her to the queen's drawing-room, where there was a
ball; there she was; but fortunately for her, Miss Hamilton was there
likewise.  It had so happened, that of all the beautiful women at Court,
this was the lady whom he had least seen, and whom he had heard most
commended; this, therefore, was the first time that he had a close view
of her, and he soon found that he had seen nothing at court before this
instant; he asked her some questions, to which she replied; as long as
she was dancing, his eyes were fixed upon her; and from this time he no
longer resented Mrs. Middleton's conduct.  Miss Hamilton was at the happy
age when the charms of the fair sex begin to bloom; she had the finest
shape, the loveliest neck, and most beautiful arms in the world; she was
majestic and graceful in all her movements; and she was the original
after which all the ladies copied in their taste and air of dress.  Her
forehead was open, white, and smooth; her hair was well set, and fell
with ease into that natural order which it is so difficult to imitate.
Her complexion was possessed of a certain freshness, not to be equalled
by borrowed colours: her eyes were not large, but they were lively, and
capable of expressing whatever she pleased: her mouth was full of graces,
and her contour uncommonly perfect; nor was her nose, which was small,
delicate, and turned up, the least ornament of so lovely a face.  In
fine, her air, her carriage, and the numberless graces dispersed over her
whole person, made the Chevalier de Grammont not doubt but that she was
possessed of every other qualification.  Her mind was a proper companion
for such a form: she did not endeavour to shine in conversation by those
sprightly sallies which only puzzle; and with still greater care she
avoided that affected solemnity in her discourse, which produces
stupidity; but, without any eagerness to talk, she just said what she
ought, and no more.  She had an admirable discernment in distinguishing
between solid and false wit; and far from making an ostentatious display
of her abilities, she was reserved, though very just in her decisions:
her sentiments were always noble, and even lofty to the highest extent,
when there was occasion; nevertheless, she was less prepossessed with her
own merit than is usually the case with those who have so much.  Formed,
as we have described, she could not fail of commanding love; but so far
was she from courting it, that she was scrupulously nice with respect to
those whose merit might entitle them to form any pretensions to her.

The more the Chevalier de Grammont was convinced of these truths,
the more did he endeavour to please and engage her in his turn: his
entertaining wit, his conversation, lively, easy, and always
distinguished by novelty, constantly gained him attention; but he was
much embarrassed to find that presents, which so easily made their way in
his former method of courtship, were no longer proper in the mode which,
for the future, he was obliged to pursue.

He had an old valet-de-chambre, called Termes, a bold thief, and a still
more impudent liar: he used to send this man from London every week, on
the commissions we have before mentioned; but after the disgrace of Mrs.
Middleton, and the adventure of Miss Warmestre, Mr. Termes was only
employed in bringing his master's clothes from Paris, and he did not
always acquit himself with the greatest fidelity in that employment, as
will appear hereafter.

The queen was a woman of sense, and used all her endeavours to please the
king, by that kind obliging behaviour which her affection made natural to
her: she was particularly attentive in promoting every sort of pleasure
and amusement especially such as she could be present at herself.

She had contrived, for this purpose, a splendid masquerade, where those,
whom she appointed to dance, had to represent different nations; she
allowed some time for preparation, during which we may suppose, the
tailors, the mantua makers, and embroiderers, were not idle: nor were the
beauties, who were to be there, less anxiously employed; however, Miss
Hamilton found time enough to invent two or three little tricks, in a
conjuncture so favourable, for turning into ridicule the vain fools of
the court.  There were two who were very eminently such: the one was Lady
Muskerry, who had married her cousin-german; and the other a maid of
honour to the Duchess, called Blague.

The first, whose husband most assuredly never married her for beauty,
was made like the generality of rich heiresses, to whom just nature seems
sparing of her gifts, in proportion as they are loaded with those of
fortune: she had the shape of a woman big with child, without being so;
but had a very good reason for limping; for, of two legs uncommonly
short, one was much shorter than the other.  A face suitable to this
description gave the finishing stroke to this disagreeable figure.

Miss Blague was another species of ridicule: her shape was neither good
nor bad: her countenance bore the appearance of the greatest insipidity,
and her complexion was the same all over; with two little hollow eyes,
adorned with white eye-lashes, as long as one's finger.  With these
attractions she placed herself in ambuscade to surprise unwary hearts;
but she might have done so in vain, had it not been for the arrival of
the Marquis de Brisacier.  Heaven seemed to have made them for each
other: he had in his person and manners every requisite to dazzle a
creature of her character he talked eternally, without saying anything,
and in his dress exceeded the most extravagant fashions.  Miss Blague
believed that all this finery was on her account; and the Marquis
believed that her long eyelashes had never taken aim at any but himself:
everybody perceived their inclination for each other; but they had only
conversed by mute interpreters, when Miss Hamilton took it into her head
to intermeddle in their affairs.

She was willing to do everything in order, and therefore began with her
cousin Muskerry, on account of her rank.  Her two darling foibles were
dress and dancing.  Magnificence of dress was intolerable with her
figure; and though her dancing was still more insupportable, she never
missed a ball at court: and the queen had so much complaisance for the
public, as always to make her dance; but it was impossible to give her a
part in an entertainment so important and splendid as this masquerade:
however, she was dying with impatience for the orders she expected.

It was in consequence of this impatience, of which Miss Hamilton was
informed, that she founded the design of diverting herself at the expense
of this silly woman.  The queen sent notes to those whom she appointed to
be present, and described the manner in which they were to be dressed.
Miss Hamilton wrote a note exactly in the same manner to Lady Muskerry,
with directions for her to be dressed in the Babylonian fashion.

She assembled her counsel to advise about the means of sending it: this
cabinet was composed of one of her brothers and a sister, who were glad
to divert themselves at the expense of those who deserved it.  After
having consulted some time, they at last resolved upon a mode of
conveying it into her own hands.  Lord Muskerry was just going out, when
she received it: he was a man of honour, rather serious, very severe, and
a mortal enemy to ridicule.  His wife's deformity was not so intolerable
to him, as the ridiculous figure she made upon all occasions.  He thought
that he was safe in the present case, not believing that the queen would
spoil her masquerade by naming Lady Muskerry as one of the dancers
nevertheless, as he was acquainted with the passion his wife had to
expose herself in public, by her dress and dancing, he had just been
advising her very seriously to content herself with being a spectator
of this entertainment, even though the queen should have the cruelty
to engage her in it: he then took the liberty to show her what little
similarity there was between her figure, and that of persons to whom
dancing and magnificence in dress were allowable.  His sermon concluded
at last, by an express prohibition to solicit a place at this
entertainment, which they had no thoughts of giving her; but far from
taking his advice in good part, she imagined that he was the only person
who had prevented the queen from doing her an honour she so ardently
desired; and as soon as he was gone out, her design was to go and throw
herself at her Majesty's feet to demand justice.  She was in this very
disposition when she received the billet: three times did she kiss it;
and without regarding her husband's injunctions, she immediately got into
her coach in order to get information of the merchants who traded to the
Levant, in what manner the ladies of quality dressed in Babylon.

The plot laid for Miss Blague was of a different kind: she had such faith
in her charms, and was so confident of their effects, that she could
believe anything.  Brisacier, whom she looked upon as desperately
smitten, had wit, which he set off with common-place talk, and with
little sonnets: he sung out of tune most methodically, and was
continually exerting one or other of these happy talents: the Duke of
Buckingham did all he could to spoil him, by the praises he bestowed both
upon his voice and upon his wit.

Miss Blague, who hardly understood a word of French, regulated herself
upon the Duke's authority, in admiring the one and the other.  It was
remarked, that all the words which he sung to her were in praise of fair
women, and that always taking this to herself, she cast down her eyes in
acknowledgment and consciousness.  It was upon these observations they
resolved to make a jest of her, the first opportunity.

While these little projects were forming, the king, who always wished to
oblige the Chevalier de Grammont, asked him, if he would make one at the
masquerade, on condition of being Miss Hamilton's partner?  He did not
pretend to dance sufficiently well for an occasion like the present; yet
he was far from refusing the offer: "Sire," said he, "of all the favours
you have been pleased to show me, since my arrival, I feel this more
sensibly than any other; and to convince you of my gratitude, I promise
you all the good offices in my power with Miss Stewart."  He said this,
because they had just given her an apartment separate from the rest of
the maids of honour, which made the courtiers begin to pay respect to
her.  The king was very well pleased at this pleasantry, and having
thanked him for so necessary an offer: "Monsieur le Chevalier," said he,
"in what style do you intend to dress yourself for the ball?  I leave you
the choice of all countries."  "If so," said the Chevalier, "I will dress
after the French manner, in order to disguise myself; for they already do
me the honour to take me for an Englishman in your city of London.  Had
it not been for this, I should have wished to have appeared as a Roman;
but for fear of embroiling myself with Prince Rupert, who so warmly
espouses the interests of Alexander against Lord Thanet, who declares
himself for Caesar, I dare no longer think of assuming the hero:
nevertheless, though I may dance awkwardly, yet, by observing the tune,
and with a little alertness, I hope to come off pretty well; besides,
Miss Hamilton will take care that too much attention shall not be paid to
me.  As for my dress, I shall send Termes off tomorrow morning; and if I
do not show you at his return the most splendid habit you have ever seen,
look upon mine as the most disgraced nation in your masquerade."

Termes set out with ample instructions, on the subject of his journey:
and his master, redoubling his impatience on an occasion like the
present, before the courier could be landed, began to count the minutes
in expectation of his return: thus was he employed until the very eve of
the ball; and that was the day that Miss Hamilton and her little society
had fixed for the execution of their project.

Martial gloves were then very much in fashion: she had by chance several
pairs of them: she sent one to Miss Blague, accompanied with four yards
of yellow riband, the palest she could find, to which she added this
note:

"You were the other day more charming than all the fair women in the
world: you looked yesterday still more fair than you did the day before:
if you go on, what will become of my heart?  But it is a long time since
that has been a prey to your pretty little young wild boar's eyes.  Shall
you be at the masquerade to-morrow?  But can there be any charms at an
entertainment, at which you are not present?  It does not signify: I
shall know you in whatever disguise you may be: but I shall be better
informed of my fate, by the present I send you: you will wear knots of
this riband in your hair; and these gloves will kiss the most beautiful
hands in the universe."

This billet, with the present, was delivered to Miss Blague with the same
success as the other had been conveyed to Lady Muskerry.  Miss Hamilton
had just received an account of it, when the latter came to pay her a
visit: something seemed to possess her thoughts very much; when, having
stayed some time, her cousin desired her to walk into her cabinet.  As
soon as they were there: "I desire your secrecy for what I am going to
tell you," said Lady Muskerry.  "Do not you wonder what strange creatures
men are?  Do not trust to them, my dear cousin: my Lord Muskerry, who,
before our marriage, could have passed whole days and nights in seeing me
dance, thinks proper now to forbid me dancing, and says it does not
become me.  This is not all: he has so often rung in my ears the subject
of this masquerade, that I am obliged to hide from him the honour the
queen has done me, in inviting me to it.  However, I am surprised I am
not informed who is to be my partner: but if you knew what a plague it
is, to find out, in this cursed town, in what manner the people of
Babylon dress, you would pity me for what I have suffered since the time
I have been appointed: besides, the cost which it puts me to is beyond
all imagination."

Here it was that Miss Hamilton's inclination to laugh, which had
increased in proportion as she endeavoured to suppress it, at length
overcame her, and broke out in an immoderate fit: Lady Muskerry took it
in good humour, not doubting but it was the fantastical conduct of her
husband that she was laughing at.  Miss Hamilton told her that all
husbands were much the same, and that one ought not to be concerned at
their whims; that she did not know who was to be her partner at the
masquerade; but that, as she was named, the gentleman named with her
would certainly not fail to attend her; although she could not comprehend
why he had not yet declared himself, unless he likewise had some
fantastical spouse, who had forbid him to dance.

This conversation being finished, Lady Muskerry went away in great haste,
to endeavour to learn some news of her partner.  Those who were
accomplices in the plot were laughing very heartily at this visit, when
Lord Muskerry paid them one in his turn, and taking Miss Hamilton aside:
"Do you know," said he, "whether there is to be any ball in the city
tomorrow?"  "No," said she; "but why do you ask?"  "Because."  said he,
"I am informed that my wife is making great preparations of dress.  I
know very well she is not to be at the masquerade: that I have taken care
of; but as the devil is in her for dancing, I am very much afraid that
she will be affording some fresh subject for ridicule, notwithstanding
all my precautions: however, if it was amongst the citizens, at some
private party, I should not much mind it."

They satisfied him as well as they could, and having dismissed him, under
pretence of a thousand things they had to prepare for the next day, Miss
Hamilton thought herself at liberty for that morning, when in came Miss
Price, one of the maids of honour to the Duchess.  This was just what she
was wishing for: This lady and Miss Blague had been at variance some
time, on account of Duncan,  whom Miss Price had drawn away from the
other; and hatred still subsisted between these two divinities.

Though the maids of honour were not nominated for the masquerade, yet
they were to assist at it; and, consequently, were to neglect nothing to
set themselves off to advantage.  Miss Hamilton had still another pair of
gloves of the same sort as those she had sent to Miss Blague, which she
made a present of to her rival, with a few knots of the same riband,
which appeared to have been made on purpose for her, brown as she was.
Miss Price returned her a thousand thanks, and promised to do herself the
honour of wearing them at the ball.  "You will oblige me if you do," said
Miss Hamilton, "but if you mention that such a trifle as this comes from
me, I shall never forgive you; but," continued she, "do not go and rob
poor Miss Blague of the Marquis Brisacier, as you already have of Duncan:
I know very well that it is wholly in your power: you have wit: you speak
French: and were he once to converse with you ever so little the other
could have no pretensions to him."  This was enough: Miss Blague was only
ridiculous and coquettish: Miss Price was ridiculous, coquettish, and
something else besides.

The day being come, the court, more splendid than ever, exhibited all its
magnificence at this masquerade.  The company were all met except the
Chevalier de Grammont: every body was astonished that he should be one
of the last at such a time, as his readiness was so remarkable on every
occasion; but they were still more surprised to see him at length appear
in an ordinary court-dress, which he had worn before.  The thing was
preposterous on such an occasion, and very extraordinary with respect to
him: in vain had he the finest point-lace, with the largest and best
powdered peruke imaginable his dress, magnificent enough for any other
purpose, was not at all proper for this entertainment.

The king immediately took notice of it: "Chevalier," said he, "Termes is
not arrived then?"  "Pardon me, sire," said he, "God be thanked!"  "Why
God be thanked?"  said the king; "has anything happened to him on the
road?"  "Sire," said the Chevalier de Grammont, "this is the history of
my dress, and of Termes, my messenger."  At these words the ball, ready
to begin, was suspended: the dancers making a circle around the Chevalier
de Grammont, he continued his story in the following manner:

"It is now two days since this fellow ought to have been here, according
to my orders and his protestations: you may judge of my impatience all
this day, when I found he did not come: at last, after I had heartily
cursed him, about an hour ago he arrived, splashed all over from head to
foot, booted up to the waist, and looking as if he had been
excommunicated 'Very well, Mr. Scoundrel,' said I, 'this is just like
you, you must be waited for to the very last minute, and it is a miracle
that you are arrived at all.'  'Yes, faith,' said he, 'it is a miracle.
You are always grumbling: I had the finest suit in the world made for
you, which the Duke de Guise himself was at the trouble of ordering.'
'Give it me then, scoundrel,' said I.  'Sir,' said he, 'if I did not
employ a dozen embroiderers upon it, who did nothing but work day and
night, I am a rascal: I never left them one moment: 'And where is it
traitor?' said I: 'do not stand here prating, while I should be
dressing.'  'I had,' continued he, 'packed it up, made it tight, and
folded it in such a manner, that all the rain in the world could never
have been able to reach it; and I rid post, day and night, knowing your
impatience, and that you were not to be trifled with.'  'But where is
it?' said I.  'Lost, sir,' said he, clasping his hands.  'How! lost,'
said I, in surprise.  'Yes, lost, perished, swallowed up: what can I say
more?'  'What!  was the packet-boat cast away then?' said I.  'Oh!
indeed, sir, a great deal worse, as you shall see,' answered he: 'I was
within half a league of Calais yesterday morning, and I was resolved to
go by the sea-side, to make greater haste; but, indeed, they say very
true, that nothing is like the highway; for I got into a quicksand, where
I sunk up to the chin.'  'A quicksand,' said I, 'near Calais?'  'Yes,
sir,' said he, 'and such a quicksand that, the devil take me, if they saw
anything but the top of my head when they pulled me out: as for my horse,
fifteen men could scarce get him out; but the portmanteau, where I had
unfortunately put your clothes, could never be found: it must be at least
a league under ground.'

"This, sire," continued the Chevalier de Grammont, "is the adventure, and
the relation which this honest gentleman has given me of it.  I should
certainly have killed him, but I was afraid of making Miss Hamilton wait,
and I was desirous of giving your Majesty immediate advice of the
quicksand, that your couriers may take care to avoid it."

The King was ready to split his sides with laughing, when the Chevalier
de Grammont, resuming the discourse, "apropos, sire," said he, "I had
forgot to tell you, that, to increase my ill-humour, I was stopped, as I
was getting out of my chair, by the devil of a phantom in masquerade, who
would by all means persuade me that the queen had commanded me to dance
with her; and as I excused myself with the least rudeness possible, she
charged me to find out who was to be her partner, and desired me to send
him to her immediately so that your Majesty will do well to give orders
about it; for she has placed herself in ambush in a coach, to seize upon
all those who pass through Whitehall.  However, I must tell you, that it
is worth while to see her dress; for she must have at least sixty ells of
gauze and silver tissue about her, not to mention a sort of a pyramid
upon her head, adorned with a hundred thousand baubles."

This last account surprised all the assembly, except those who had a
share in the plot.  The queen assured them, that all she had appointed
for the ball were present; and the king, having paused some minutes:
"I bet," said he, "that it is the Duchess of Newcastle."  "And I," said
Lord Muskerry, coming up to Miss Hamilton, "will bet it is another fool;
for I am very much mistaken if it is not my wife."

The king was for sending to know who it was, and to bring her in: Lord
Muskerry offered himself for that service, for the reason already
mentioned; and it was very well he did so.  Miss Hamilton was not sorry
for this, knowing very well that he was not mistaken in his conjecture;
the jest would have gone much farther than she intended, if the Princess
of Babylon had appeared in all her glory.

The ball was not very well executed, if one maybe allowed the expression,
so long as they danced only slow dances; and yet there were as good
dancers, and as beautiful women in this assembly, as were to be found in
the whole world: but as their number was not great, they left the French,
and went to country dances.  When they had danced some time, the king
thought fit to introduce his auxiliaries, to give the others a little
respite; the queen's and the duchess's maids of honour were therefore
called in to dance with the gentlemen.

Then it was that they were at leisure to take notice of Miss Blague, and
they found that the billet they had conveyed to her on the part of
Brisacier had its effect: she was more yellow than saffron: her hair was
stuffed with the citron-coloured riband, which she had put there out of
complaisance; and, to inform Brisacier of his fate, she raised often to
her head her victorious hands, adorned with the gloves we have before
mentioned: but, if they were surprised to see her in a head-dress that
made her look more wan than ever, she was very differently surprised to
see Miss Price partake with her in every particular of Brisacier's
present: her surprise soon turned to jealousy; for her rival had not
failed to join in conversation with him, on account of what had been
insinuated to her the evening before; nor did Brisacier fail to return
her first advances, without paying the least attention to the fair
Blague, nor to the signs which she was tormenting herself to make him,
to inform him of his happy destiny.

Miss Price was short and thick, and consequently no dancer, the Duke of
Buckingham, who brought Brisacier forward as often as he could, came to
desire him, on the part of the king, to dance with Miss Blague, without
knowing what was then passing in this nymph's heart: Brisacier excused
himself, on account of the contempt that he had for country dances: Miss
Blague thought that it was herself that he despised; and, seeing that he
was engaged in conversation with her mortal enemy, she began to dance,
without knowing what she was doing.  Though her indignation and jealousy
were sufficiently remarkable to divert the court, none but Miss Hamilton
and her accomplices, understood the joke perfectly: their pleasure was
quite complete; for Lord Muskerry returned, still more confounded at the
vision, of which the Chevalier de Grammont had given the description.  He
acquainted Miss Hamilton, that it was Lady Muskerry herself, a thousand
times more ridiculous than she had ever been before, and that he had had
an immense trouble to get her home, and place a sentry at her chamber
door.

The reader may think, perhaps, that we have dwelt too long on these
trifling incidents; perhaps he may be right.  We will therefore pass to
others.

Everything favoured the Chevalier de Grammont in the new passion which he
entertained: he was not, however, without rivals; but, what is a great
deal more extraordinary, he was without uneasiness: he was acquainted
with their understandings, and no stranger to Miss Hamilton's way of
thinking.

Among her lovers, the most considerable, though the least professedly so,
was the Duke of York: it was in vain for him to conceal it, the court was
too well acquainted with his character to doubt of his inclinations for
her.  He did not think it proper to declare such sentiments as were not
fit for Miss Hamilton to hear; but he talked to her as much as he could,
and ogled her with great assiduity.  As hunting was his favourite
diversion, that sport employed him one part of the day, and he came home
generally much fatigued; but Miss Hamilton's presence revived him, when
he found her either with the queen or the duchess.  There it was that,
not daring to tell her of what lay heavy on his heart, he entertained her
with what he had in his head: telling her miracles of the cunning of
foxes and the mettle of horses; giving her accounts of broken legs and
arms, dislocated shoulders, and other curious and entertaining
adventures; after which, his eyes told her the rest, till such time as
sleep interrupted their conversation; for these tender interpreters could
not help sometimes composing themselves in the midst of their ogling.

The duchess was not at all alarmed at a passion which her rival was far
from thinking sincere, and with which she used to divert herself, as far
as respect would admit her; on the contrary, as her highness had an
affection and esteem for Miss Hamilton, she never treated her more
graciously than on the present occasion.

The two Russells, uncle and nephew,--were two other of the Chevalier de
Grammont's rivals: the uncle was full seventy, and had distinguished
himself by his courage and fidelity in the civil wars.  His passions and
intentions, with regard to Miss Hamilton, appeared both at once; but his
magnificence only appeared by halves in those gallantries which love
inspires.  It was not long since the fashion of high crowned hats had
been left off, in order to fall into the other extreme.  Old Russell,
amazed at so terrible a change, resolved to keep a medium, which made him
remarkable: he was still more so, by his constancy for cut doublets,
which he supported a long time after they had been universally
suppressed; but, what was more surprising than all, was a certain mixture
of avarice and liberality, constantly at war with each other, ever since
he had entered the list with love.

His nephew was only of a younger brother's family, but was considered as
his uncle's heir; and though he was under the necessity of attending to
his uncle for an establishment, and still more so of humouring him, in
order to get his estate, he could not avoid his fate.  Mrs. Middleton
showed him a sufficient degree of preference; but her favours could not
secure him from the charms of Miss Hamilton: his person would have had
nothing disagreeable in it, if he had but left it to nature; but he was
formal in all his actions, and silent even to stupidity; and yet rather
more tiresome when he did speak.

The Chevalier de Grammont, very much at his ease in all these
competitions, engaged himself more and more in his passion, without
forming other designs, or conceiving other hopes, than to render himself
agreeable.  Though his passion was openly declared, no person at court
regarded it otherwise than as a habit of gallantry, which goes no farther
than to do justice to merit.

His monitor, Saint Evremond, was quite of a different opinion; and
finding, that, besides an immense increase of magnificence and assiduity,
he regretted those hours which he bestowed on play; that he no longer
sought after those long and agreeable conversations they used to have
together; and that this new attachment everywhere robbed him of himself:

"Monsieur le Chevalier," said he, "methinks that for some time you have
left the town beauties and their lovers in perfect repose: Mrs. Middleton
makes fresh conquests with impunity, and wears your presents, under your
nose, without your taking the smallest notice.  Poor Miss Warmestre has
been very quietly brought to bed in the midst of the court, without your
having even said a word about it.  I foresaw it plain enough, Monsieur le
Chevalier, you have got acquainted with Miss Hamilton, and, what has
never before happened to you, you are really in love; but let us consider
a little what may be the consequence.  In the first place, then, I
believe, you have not the least intention of seducing her: such is her
birth and merit, that if you were in possession of the estate and title
of your family, it might be excusable in you to offer yourself upon
honourable terms, however ridiculous marriage may be in general; for, if
you only wish for wit, prudence, and the treasures of beauty, you could
not pay your addresses to a more proper person: but for you, who possess
only a very moderate share of those of fortune, you cannot pay your
addresses more improperly.

"For your brother Toulongeon, whose disposition I am acquainted with, will
not have the complaisance to die, to favour your pretensions: but suppose
you had a competent fortune for you both--and that is supposing a good
deal--are you acquainted with the delicacy, not to say capriciousness, of
this fair one about such an engagement?  Do you know that she has had the
choice of the best matches in England?  The Duke of Richmond paid his
addresses to her first; but though he was in love with her, still he was
mercenary: however, the king, observing that want of fortune was the only
impediment to the match, took that article upon himself, out of regard to
the Duke of Ormond, to the merit and birth of Miss Hamilton, and to her
father's services; but, resenting that a man, who pretended to be in
love, should bargain like a merchant, and likewise reflecting upon his
character in the world, she did not think that being Duchess of Richmond
was a sufficient recompense for the danger that was to be feared from a
brute and a debauchee.

"Has not little Jermyn, notwithstanding his uncle's great estate, and his
own brilliant reputation, failed in his suit to her?  And has she ever so
much as vouchsafed to look at Henry Howard, who is upon the point of
being the first duke in England, and who is already in actual possession
of all the estates of the house of Norfolk?  I confess that he is a
clown, but what other lady in all England would not have dispensed with
his stupidity and his disagreeable person, to be the first duchess in the
kingdom, with twenty-five thousand a year?

"To conclude, Lord Falmouth has told me himself, that he has always
looked upon her as the only acquisition wanting to complete his
happiness: but, that even at the height of the splendour of his fortune,
he never had had the assurance to open his sentiments to her; that he
either felt in himself too much weakness, or too much pride, to be
satisfied with obtaining her solely by the persuasion of her relations;
and that, though the first refusals of the fair on such occasions are not
much minded, he knew with what an air she had received the addresses of
those whose persons she did not like.  After this, Monsieur le Chevalier,
consider what method you intend to pursue: for, if you are in love, the
passion will still increase, and the greater the attachment, the less
capable will you be of making those serious reflections that are now in
your power."

"My poor philosopher," answered the Chevalier de Grammont, "you
understand Latin very well, you can make good verses, you understand the
course, and are acquainted with the nature of the stars in the firmament;
but, as for the luminaries of the terrestrial globe, you are utterly
unacquainted with them: you have told me nothing about Miss Hamilton, but
what the king told me three days ago.  That she has refused the savages
you have mentioned is all in her favour if she had admitted their
addresses, I would have had nothing to say to her, though I love her
to distraction.  Attend now to what I am going to say: I am resolved
to marry her, and I will have my tutor Saint Evremond himself to be the
first man to commend me for it.  As for an establishment, I shall make my
peace with the king, and will solicit him to make her one of the ladies
of the bed-chamber to the queen: this he will grant me.  Toulongeon will
die, without my assistance.

     [Count de Toulongeon was elder brother to Count Grammont, who, by
     his death, in 1679, became, according to St. Evremond, on that
     event, one of the richest noblemen at court.--See St. Evremond's
     Works.  vol. ii., p. 327.]

"Notwithstanding all his care; Miss Hamilton will have Semeat,--[A country
seat belonging to the family of the Grammonts.]--with the Chevalier de
Grammont, as an indemnification for the Norfolks and Richmonds.  Now,
have you any thing to advance against this project?  For I will bet you
an hundred louis, that everything will happen as I have foretold it."

At this time the king's attachment to Miss Stewart was so public, that
every person perceived, that if she was but possessed of art, she might
become as absolute a mistress over his conduct as she was over his heart.
This was a fine opportunity for those who had experience and ambition.
The Duke of Buckingham formed the design of governing her, in order to
ingratiate himself with the king: God knows what a governor he would have
been, and what a head he was possessed of, to guide another; however,
he was the properest man in the world to insinuate himself with Miss
Stewart: she was childish in her behaviour, and laughed at everything,
and her taste for frivolous amusements, though unaffected, was only
allowable in a girl about twelve or thirteen years old.  A child,
however, she was, in every other respect, except playing with a doll:
blind man's buff was her most favourite amusement: she was building
castles of cards, while the deepest play was going on in her apartments,
where you saw her surrounded by eager courtiers, who handed her the
cards, or young architects, who endeavoured to imitate her.

She had, however, a passion for music, and had some taste for singing.
The Duke of Buckingham, who built the finest towers of cards imaginable,
had an agreeable voice: she had no aversion to scandal: and the duke was
both the father and the mother of scandal, he made songs, and invented
old women's stories, with which she was delighted; but his particular
talent consisted in turning into ridicule whatever was ridiculous in
other people, and in taking them off, even in their presence, without
their perceiving it: in short, he knew how to act all parts with so much
grace and pleasantry, that it was difficult to do without him, when he
had a mind to make himself agreeable; and he made himself so necessary to
Miss Stewart's amusement, that she sent all over the town to seek for
him, when he did not attend the king to her apartments.

He was extremely handsome, and still thought himself much more so than he
really was: although he had a great deal of discernment, yet his vanity
made him mistake some civilities as intended for his person, which were
only bestowed on his wit and drollery: in short, being seduced by too
good an opinion of his own merit, he forgot his first project and his
Portuguese mistress, in order to pursue a fancy in which he mistook
himself; for he no sooner began to act a serious part with Miss Stewart,
than he met with so severe a repulse that he abandoned, at once, all his
designs upon her: however, the familiarity she had procured him with the
king, opened the way to those favours to which he was afterwards
advanced.

     [George Villiers, the second Duke of Buckingham, was born 30th
     January, 1627.  Lord Orford observes," When this extraordinary man,
     with the figure and genius of Alcibiades, could equally charm the
     presbyterian Fairfax and the dissolute Charles; when he alike
     ridiculed that witty king and his solemn chancellor: when he plotted
     the ruin of his country with a cabal of bad ministers, or, equally
     unprincipled, supported its cause with bad patriots,--one laments
     that such parts should have been devoid of every virtue: but when
     Alcibiades turns chemist; when he is a real bubble and a visionary
     miser; when ambition is but a frolic; when the worst designs are for
     the foolishest ends,--contempt extinguishes all reflection on his
     character."]

Lord Arlington took up the project which the Duke of Buckingham had
abandoned, and endeavoured to gain possession of the mind of the
mistress, in order to govern the master.  A man of greater merit and
higher birth than himself might, however, have been satisfied with the
fortune he had already acquired.  His first negotiations were during the
treaty of the Pyrenees: and though he was unsuccessful in his proceedings
for his employer, yet he did not altogether lose his time; for he
perfectly acquired, in his exterior, the serious air and profound gravity
of the Spaniards, and imitated pretty well their tardiness in business:
he had a scar across his nose, which was covered by a long patch, or
rather by a small plaister, in form of a lozenge.

Scars in the face commonly give a man a certain fierce and martial air,
which sets him off to advantage; but it was quite the contrary with him,
and this remarkable plaister so well suited his mysterious looks, that it
seemed an addition to his gravity and self-sufficiency.

Arlington, under the mask of this compound countenance where great
earnestness passed for business, and impenetrable stupidity for secrecy,
had given himself the character of a great politician; and no one having
leisure to examine him, he was taken at his word, and had been made
minister and secretary of state, upon the credit of his own importance.

His ambition soaring still above these high stations, after having
provided himself with a great number of fine maxims, and some historical
anecdotes, he obtained an audience of Miss Stewart, in order to display
them; at the same time offering her his most humble services, and best
advice, to assist her in conducting herself in the situation to which it
had pleased God and her virtue to raise her.  But he was only in the
preface of his speech, when she recollected that he was at the head of
those whom the Duke of Buckingham used to mimic; and as his presence and
his language exactly revived the ridiculous ideas that had been given her
of him, she could not forbear bursting out into a fit of laughter in his
face, so much the more violent as she had for a long time struggled to
suppress it.

The minister was enraged: his pride became his post, and his punctilious
behaviour merited all the ridicule which could be attached to it: he
quitted her abruptly, with all the fine advice he had prepared for her,
and was almost tempted to carry it to Lady Castlemaine, and to unite
himself with her interests; or immediately to quit the court party, and
declaim freely in parliament against the grievances of the state, and
particularly to propose an act to forbid the keeping of mistresses; but
his prudence conquered his resentments; and thinking only how to enjoy
with pleasure the blessings of fortune, he sent to Holland for a wife,
in order to complete his felicity.

Hamilton was, of all the courtiers, the best qualified to succeed in
an enterprise, in which the Duke of Buckingham and Lord Arlington had
miscarried: he was thinking upon it; but his natural coquetry traversed
his intentions, and made him neglect the most advantageous prospects in
the world, in order unnecessarily to attend to the advances and
allurements thrown out to him by the Countess of Chesterfield.  This was
one of the most agreeable women in the world: she had a most exquisite
shape, though she was not very tall; her complexion was extremely fair,
with all the expressive charms of a brunette; she had large blue eyes,
very tempting and alluring; her manners were engaging; her wit lively and
amusing; but her heart, ever open to tender sentiments, was neither
scrupulous in point of constancy, nor nice in point of sincerity.  She
was daughter to the Duke of Ormond, and Hamilton, being her cousin-
german, they might be as much as they pleased in each other's company
without being particular; but as soon as her eyes gave him some
encouragement, he entertained no other thoughts than how to please her,

     [This lady was Isabella, daughter to Lewis de Nassau, Lord Beverwaert,
     son to Maurice, Prince of Orange, and Count Nassau.  By her, Lord
     Arlington had an only daughter, named Isabella.]

without considering her fickleness, or the obstacles he had to encounter.
His intention, which we mentioned before, of establishing himself in the
confidence of Miss Stewart, no longer occupied his thoughts: she now was
of opinion that she was capable of being the mistress of her own conduct:
she had done all that was necessary to inflame the king's passions, without
exposing her virtue by granting the last favours; but the eagerness of a
passionate lover, blessed with favourable opportunities, is difficult to
withstand, and still more difficult to vanquish; and Miss Stewart's
virtue was almost exhausted, when the queen was attacked with a violent
fever, which soon reduced her to extreme danger.

Then it was that Miss Stewart was greatly pleased with herself for the
resistance she had made, though she had paid dearly for it: a thousand
flattering hopes of greatness and glory filled her heart, and the
additional respect that was universally paid her, contributed not a
little to increase them.  The queen was given over by her physicians:
the few Portuguese women that had not been sent back to their own country
filled the court with doleful cries; and the good nature of the king was
much affected with the situation in which he saw a princess, whom, though
he did not love her, yet he greatly esteemed.  She loved him tenderly,
and thinking that it was the last time she should ever speak to him, she
told him, that the concern he showed for her death, was enough to make
her quit life with regret; but that not possessing charms sufficient to
merit his tenderness, she had at least the consolation in dying to give
place to a consort who might be more worthy of it, and to whom heaven,
perhaps, might grant a blessing that had been refused to her.  At these
words, she bathed his hands with some tears, which he thought would be
her last: he mingled his own with hers; and without supposing she would
take him at his word, he conjured her to live for his sake.  She had
never yet disobeyed him; and, however dangerous sudden impulses may be,
when one is between life and death, this transport of joy, which might
have proved fatal to her, saved her life, and the king's wonderful
tenderness had an effect, for which every person did not thank heaven in
the same manner.

Jermyn had now for some time been recovered of his wounds: however, Lady
Castlemaine, finding his health in as deplorable a condition as ever,
resolved to regain the king's heart, but in vain: for notwithstanding the
softness of her tears, and the violence of her passions, Miss Stewart
wholly possessed it.  During this period the court was variously
entertained: sometimes there were promenades, and at others the court
beauties sallied out on horseback, and to make attacks with their charms
and graces, sometimes successfully, sometimes otherwise, but always to
the best of their abilities at other seasons there were such shows on the
river, as the city of London alone can afford.

The Thames washes the sides of a large though not a magnificent palace of
the kings of Great Britain:--[This was Whitehall, which was burnt down,
except the banqueting-house, 4th January, 1698.]--from the stairs of this
palace the court used to take water, in the summer evenings, when the
heat and dust prevented their walking in the park: an infinite number of
open boats, filled with the court and city beauties, attended the barges,
in which were the Royal Family: collations, music, and fireworks,
completed the scene.  The Chevalier de Grammont always made one of the
company, and it was very seldom that he did not add something of his own
invention, agreeably to surprise by some unexpected stroke of
magnificence and gallantry.  Sometimes he had complete concerts of vocal
and instrumental music, which he privately brought from Paris, and which
struck up on a sudden in the midst of these parties; sometimes he gave
banquets, which likewise came from France, and which, even in the midst
of London, surpassed the king's collations.  These entertainments
sometimes exceeded, as others fell short of his expectations, but they
always cost him an immense deal of money.

Lord Falmouth was one of those who had the greatest friendship and esteem
for the Chevalier de Grammont: this profusion gave him concern, and as he
often used to go and sup with him without ceremony, one day finding only
Saint Evremond there, and a supper fit for half a dozen guests, who had
been invited in form: "You must not," said he, addressing himself to the
Chevalier de Grammont, "be obliged to me for this visit.  I come from the
king's 'coucher', where all the discourse was about you; and I can assure
you that the manner in which the king spoke of you, could not afford you
so much pleasure as I myself felt upon the occasion.  You know very well,
that he has long since offered you his good offices with the King of
France; and for my own part," continued he, smiling, "you know very well
that I would solicit him so to do, if it was not through fear of losing
you as soon as your peace is made; but, thanks to Miss Hamilton, you
are in no great haste: however, I am ordered by the king, my master,
to acquaint you, that while you remain here, until you are restored to
the favour of your sovereign, he presents you with a pension of fifteen
hundred Jacobus's: it is indeed a trifle, considering the figure the
Chevalier de Grammont makes among us; but it will assist him," said he,
embracing him, "to give us sometimes a supper."

The Chevalier de Grammont received, as he ought, the offer of a favour he
did not think proper to accept: "I acknowledge," said he, "the king's
bounty in this proposal, but I am still more sensible of Lord Falmouth's
generosity in it; and I request him to assure his Majesty of my perfect
gratitude: the king, my master, will not suffer me to want, when he
thinks fit to recall me; and while I continue here, I will let you see
that I have wherewithal to give my English friends now and then a
supper."

At these words, he called for his strong box, and showed him seven or
eight thousand guineas in solid gold.  Lord Falmouth, willing to improve
to the Chevalier's advantage the refusal of so advantageous an offer,
gave Monsieur de Comminge, then ambassador at the English court, an
account of it; nor did Monsieur de Comminge fail to represent properly
the merit of such a refusal to the French court.

Hyde Park, every one knows, is the promenade of London! nothing was so
much in fashion, during the fine weather, as that promenade, which was
the rendezvous of magnificence and beauty: every one, therefore, who had
either sparkling eyes, or a splendid equipage, constantly repaired
thither; and the king seemed pleased with the place.

Coaches with glasses were then a late invention.

     [Coaches were first introduced into England in the year 1564.
     Taylor, the water poet, (Works, 1630, p. 240,) says,--"One William
     Boonen, a Dutchman, brought first the use of coaches hither; and the
     said Boonen was Queen Elizabeth's coachman; for, indeed, a coach was
     a strange monster in those days, and the sight of them put both
     horse and man into amazement."  Dr. Percy observes, they were first
     drawn by two horses, and that it was the favourite Buckingham, who,
     about 1619, began to draw with six horses.  About the same time, he
     introduced the sedan.  'The Ultimum Vale of John Carleton', 4to,
     1663, p. 23, will, in a great measure, ascertain the time of the
     introduction of glass coaches.  He says, "I could wish her (i. e.
     Mary Carleton's) coach (which she said my lord Taff bought for her
     in England, and sent it over to her, made of the new fashion, wide
     glasse, very stately; and her pages and lacquies were of the same
     livery,) was come for me," &c.]

The ladies were afraid of being shut up in them: they greatly preferred
the pleasure of showing almost their whole persons, to the conveniences
of modern coaches: that which was made for the king not being remarkable
for its elegance, the Chevalier de Grammont was of opinion that something
ingenious might be invented, which should partake of the ancient fashion,
and likewise prove preferable to the modern; he therefore sent away
Termes privately with all the necessary instructions to Paris: the Duke
of Guise was likewise charged with this commission; and the courier,
having by the favour of Providence escaped the quicksand, in a month's
time brought safely over to England the most elegant and magnificent
calash that had ever been seen, which the Chevalier presented to the
king.

The Chevalier de Grammont had given orders that fifteen hundred louis
should be expended upon it; but the Duke of Guise, who was his friend,
to oblige him, laid out two thousand.  All the court was in admiration
at the magnificence of the present; and the king, charmed with the
Chevalier's attention to everything which could afford him pleasure,
failed not to acknowledge it: he would not, however, accept a present
of so much value, but upon condition that the Chevalier should not
refuse another from him.

The queen, imagining that so splendid a carriage might prove fortunate
for her, wished to appear in it first, with the Duchess of York.  Lady
Castlemaine, who had seen them in it, thinking that it set off a fine
figure to greater advantage than any other, desired the king to lend her
this wonderful calash to appear in it the first fine day in Hyde Park:
Miss Stewart had the same wish, and requested to have it on the same day.
As it was impossible to reconcile these two goddesses, whose former union
was turned into mortal hatred, the king was very much perplexed.

Lady Castlemaine was with child, and threatened to miscarry, if her rival
was preferred; Miss Stewart threatened, that she never would be with
child, if her request was not granted.  This menace prevailed, and Lady
Castlemaine's rage was so great, that she had almost kept her word; and
it was believed that this triumph cost her rival some of her innocence.

The queen dowager, who, though she had no share in these broils, had no
objection to them, and as usual being diverted with this circumstance,
she took occasion to joke with the Chevalier de Grammont, for having
thrown this bone of contention among such competitors; and did not fail
to give him, in the presence of the whole court, those praises which so
magnificent a present deserved: "But how comes it," said she, "that you
have no equipage yourself, though you are at so great an expense? for I
am told that you do not keep even a single footman, and that one of the
common runners in the streets lights you home with a stinking link."
"Madam," said he, "the Chevalier de Grammont hates pomp: my linkboy, of
whom you speak, is faithful to my service; and besides, he is one of the
bravest fellows in the world.  Your Majesty is unacquainted with the
nation of link-boys: it is a charming one, I can assure you: a man cannot
step out in the night without being surrounded by a dozen of them.  The
first time I became acquainted with them, I retained all that offered me
their services; so that when I arrived at Whitehall, I had at least two
hundred about my chair: the sight was new; for those who had seen me pass
with this illumination, asked whose funeral it was.  These gentlemen,
however, began fighting about some dozen shillings I had thrown among
them then; and he whom your Majesty mentions having beaten three or four
of his companions, I retained him for his valour.  As for the parade of
coaches and footmen, I despise it: I have sometimes had five or six
valets-de-chambre at once, without having a single servant in livery,
except my chaplain Poussatin."  "How!"  said the queen, bursting out
laughing, "a chaplain in your livery! he surely was not a priest?"
"Pardon me, madam," said he, "and the first priest in the world for
dancing the Biscayan jig."  "Chevalier," said the king, "pray tell us the
history of your chaplain Poussatin."




ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS:

Ambition to pass for a wit, only established her tiresome
An affectation of purity of manners
Despising everything which  was not like themselves
Duke would see things if he could
Every thing that is necessary is honourable in politics
Good attendants, but understood cheating still better
Great earnestness passed for business
Hardly possible for a woman to have less wit, or more beauty
He talked eternally, without saying anything
His mistress given him by his priests for penance
Impenetrable stupidity (passed) for secrecy
Life, in his opinion, was too short to read all sorts of books
Never felt the pressure of indigence
Not that he wanted capacity, but he was too self-sufficient
Obstinate against all other advices
One amour is creditable to a lady
Possessed but little raillery, and still less patience
Reasons of state assume great privileges
She just said what she ought, and no more
They can by no means bear the inconstancy of their mistresses
Very willing to accept, but was tardy in making returns
Wealth was necessary for the conveniencies of a long life





*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MEMOIRS OF GRAMMONT, V3, BY HAMILTON ***

************* This file should be named mcg3w10.txt or mcg3w10.zip ************

Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, mcg3w11.txt
VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, mcg3w10a.txt

This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net>

Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we usually do not
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance
of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing.
Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections,
even years after the official publication date.

Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til
midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at
Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month.  A
preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
and editing by those who wish to do so.

Most people start at our Web sites at:
http://gutenberg.net or
http://promo.net/pg

These Web sites include award-winning information about Project
Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new
eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!).


Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement
can get to them as follows, and just download by date.  This is
also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the
indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an
announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter.

http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or
ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03

Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90

Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want,
as it appears in our Newsletters.


Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)

We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work.  The
time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours
to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc.   Our
projected audience is one hundred million readers.  If the value
per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text
files per month:  1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+
We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002
If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total
will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end.

The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks!
This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users.

Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated):

eBooks Year Month

    1  1971 July
   10  1991 January
  100  1994 January
 1000  1997 August
 1500  1998 October
 2000  1999 December
 2500  2000 December
 3000  2001 November
 4000  2001 October/November
 6000  2002 December*
 9000  2003 November*
10000  2004 January*


The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created
to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium.

We need your donations more than ever!

As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people
and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut,
Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois,
Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts,
Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New
Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio,
Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South
Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West
Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones
that have responded.

As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list
will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states.
Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state.

In answer to various questions we have received on this:

We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally
request donations in all 50 states.  If your state is not listed and
you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have,
just ask.

While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are
not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting
donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to
donate.

International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about
how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made
deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are
ways.

Donations by check or money order may be sent to:

Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
PMB 113
1739 University Ave.
Oxford, MS 38655-4109

Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment
method other than by check or money order.

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by
the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN
[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154.  Donations are
tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law.  As fund-raising
requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be
made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states.

We need your donations more than ever!

You can get up to date donation information online at:

http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html


***

If you can't reach Project Gutenberg,
you can always email directly to:

Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com>

Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message.

We would prefer to send you information by email.


**The Legal Small Print**


(Three Pages)

***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START***
Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers.
They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from
someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how
you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to.

*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK
By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive
a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by
sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical
medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.

ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS
This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks,
is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart
through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project").
Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
distribute it in the United States without permission and
without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth
below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook
under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.

Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market
any commercial products without permission.

To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable
efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any
medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other
things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer
codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may
receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims
all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of
receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
time to the person you received it from. If you received it
on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
copy. If you received it electronically, such person may
choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
receive it electronically.

THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE.

Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
may have other legal rights.

INDEMNITY
You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation,
and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated
with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including
legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the
following that you do or cause:  [1] distribution of this eBook,
[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook,
or [3] any Defect.

DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by
disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
or:

[1]  Only give exact copies of it.  Among other things, this
     requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
     eBook or this "small print!" statement.  You may however,
     if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable
     binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
     including any form resulting from conversion by word
     processing or hypertext software, but only so long as
     *EITHER*:

     [*]  The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
          does *not* contain characters other than those
          intended by the author of the work, although tilde
          (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
          be used to convey punctuation intended by the
          author, and additional characters may be used to
          indicate hypertext links; OR

     [*]  The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at
          no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
          form by the program that displays the eBook (as is
          the case, for instance, with most word processors);
          OR

     [*]  You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
          no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
          eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
          or other equivalent proprietary form).

[2]  Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this
     "Small Print!" statement.

[3]  Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the
     gross profits you derive calculated using the method you
     already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  If you
     don't derive profits, no royalty is due.  Royalties are
     payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation"
     the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were
     legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent
     periodic) tax return.  Please contact us beforehand to
     let us know your plans and to work out the details.

WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of
public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed
in machine readable form.

The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time,
public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses.
Money should be paid to the:
"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or
software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at:
hart@pobox.com

[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only
when distributed free of all fees.  Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by
Michael S. Hart.  Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be
used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be
they hardware or software or any other related product without
express permission.]

*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END*